Thursday, October 28, 2010

Mentor programme

I have a new project.

I will be mentoring him in the important things.

Posing for the camera, how to work the wonky ears to his advantage, accessorising.

He is the Luke Skywalker to Yoda. If you can't beat them, you might as well mentor them, become their manager and take a percentage.

Friday, October 22, 2010

A bad owner

always blames their tools.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Perks of being a shop dog

Flower school yesterday.

A lady called Andrea brought me treats, which i may or may not have eaten in a single sitting.

Then Polly took me to the pub for a glass of fizzy pop.

It's not Ibiza, but there are worse places to hang out everyday.

Friday, October 15, 2010

This is a man's world

not that you would know it here.

This morning I was forced to walk alongside her new shopping trolley. Humiliation.

I am a man, a hot bloodied male. Baskets won't do. I want chrome, leather, steel, glass.

What's that you say? Had the chop? 4 years ago? Right.

As you were.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Re: The Ham Hock

It wasn't me.

I wasn't anywhere near it.

That's my story, and I am sticking to it.