May your days be merry and bright

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Neglected

Surrounded by spiky holly, made to share my bed with boxes of oasis, no strolls around town, a distinct lack of cocktail sausages from M&S.

An integral part of the brand, probably the only reason she got into You magazine in the first place, and this is how i am rewarded?

A goat?

You think i look like a goat?

Face? Bothered?

Talk to the paw people, talk to the paw.

An impression of.....

a giraffe.

I am not a performing monkey

I have been informed that this weekend is the weekend of The Christmas Card Shoot. My last shoot was with new best friend and uber photographer Polly, there is a lot to live up to.

I realise I am an integral part of the brand, and having my face on the card is flattering and all.

If you think I am dressing up. Think again.

Copy cat

White Stuff have opened on the High Street.

They have their very own shop dog.

Nice hat....

Let me see you shake your tail feathers

All those Christmas wreaths require pheasant feathers.

I am in charge of procurement.

Mentor programme

I have a new project.

I will be mentoring him in the important things.

Posing for the camera, how to work the wonky ears to his advantage, accessorising.

He is the Luke Skywalker to Yoda. If you can't beat them, you might as well mentor them, become their manager and take a percentage.

A bad owner

always blames their tools.

Perks of being a shop dog

Flower school yesterday.

A lady called Andrea brought me treats, which i may or may not have eaten in a single sitting.

Then Polly took me to the pub for a glass of fizzy pop.

It's not Ibiza, but there are worse places to hang out everyday.

This is a man's world

not that you would know it here.

This morning I was forced to walk alongside her new shopping trolley. Humiliation.

I am a man, a hot bloodied male. Baskets won't do. I want chrome, leather, steel, glass.

What's that you say? Had the chop? 4 years ago? Right.

As you were.

Re: The Ham Hock

It wasn't me.

I wasn't anywhere near it.

That's my story, and I am sticking to it.

Introducing.......Radish

Another one of her friends has got a puppy.

At least this one is a lurcher.

Cute, if you like slightly wonky ears and salad vegetables.

Hungover

A night with the boys, The Sparkster and Devon.

It started with a few sherries in front of the woodburner.

It ended with tequila slammers in Peppermint Rhinos.

Somebody bring me a bacon sandwich.

According to the website

Miss P. likes to cook.

Knock yourself kiddo.

Funny face

She's painted the workroom floor cream

It's like a snowstorm in here.

While you were sleeping

My slumber is often disturbed by somebody with a camera.

I exact my revenge

by howling to be let out

at 3.56 am

on a Sunday.

The animals went in 2 by 2

It is still raining.

Last night i built an ark.

It has all the mod-cons, 18 hole golf course, cinema, forno a legno, dancefloor.

By my calculations at 16.00 hours the water levels will lift us clear of the 7ft fencing, and we should be in Capri by next Tuesday.

The answer to most questions is "Andiamo in Italia"

It's my bush

Get your own.

It's all about me

Even world famous photographers name check me on their blogs.

Right back at you Polly.

Wake me up when summer returns

Whilst the cat's away

The Hounds will play.

He called me a Mummy's boy.

I called him a vagabond.

Good times.

1461 days

I shall be spending the day sleeping.

Nobody likes a show off

That puppy again.

I would like to see it try and jump a 7 foot fence.

That's a party trick,

anybody can roll around in a towel.

Tis the season to get married

I get exhausted just watching all those tablecentres and bouquets being made.