I'm back

The pressures of being a celebrity can sometimes be too much, and you need to take a bit of time out.

She packed me up and sent me to a "health spa" for a few weeks.

It wasn't quite what i expected, a lot of talking, no facials, no seaweed bodywraps.....

Honey I shrank The Hound

It's a Whippet.

14 weeks old.

She tried to steal it.

Face? Bothered?

Princess Pooch

Looking this good isn't easy.

I require regular shampoo and sets from Princess Pooch across the road.

I like a good blow dry as much as the next dog, but i don't like the hot air in my ears.

Emma kindly protects them in a towel.

Then we sit back and discuss tactics for Roller Derby.

Happy Days.

Special times

Being a dog of land locked Rutland, there is nothing I like more than heading to the coast.

Watching boats come in and out of the harbour, drinking a little wine with friends......

Just don't ask me to get on a boat.

Lurchers don't do water.

Summer days driftin' away

but they have been good, pool parties, festivals, and the like.

Gifts of junk food, and a new collar.

Just as the old one reached that perfect aged look, and got really comfy, she gets me a new one.

It will take me months to break it in.

Women.

I'm gonna party like it's my birthday

I'm gonna sip Barcardi like it's my birthday...

I have many gifts, i will do a show and tell next week, just incase i get anymore......

I keep being woken up and asked if i know it is my "special day"

My "special day" will come when it is just me, that cat, and a locked room.

Winner

There was a competition.


Obviously i won.

and if Wallace thinks he can out cute me on the curled up sleeping pose....he can think again.

The acceptance speech is currently being worked on.

Hold on tightly, let go lightly

Farewell old friend.

xxxx

Dog Borstal

Whilst she went to a wedding, I was checked into dog borstal.

She thinks it's good for me, to hang out with other hounds, and generally just be a dog for a while. you are supposed to check our ego in at the door. Nobody cares about my celebrity status there.

I milk it on her return i do my best "i didn't think you were every coming back for me" face. You know the sort of thing.

Full of remorse for having left me, we go to Mr Ferrai's for a slap up tea and a run around the garden.

What she doesn't know, is that the borstal is just up the road from Hambleton Hall. I slip the kennel maid £50, check myself into 5 star luxury, bolt across the fields when i see her approach and nobody is any the wiser.

That is why i know i had absolutely nothing to do with the cat that went missing from the kennels. Nothing at all. No siree, wasn't me.

Out and about

I don't spend all my time lying down.

I like to get out and about.

If i'm going a long distance

I take the train.

Maybe that's why the vet thinks i am fat.

#notbitter

What is it with collies?

When they aren't being all good with livestock, rounding up sheep, and coming by.

They are weaving in and out of poles, being all obedient

or dancing on the television.

Collies, single handedly giving dogs a bad name.

Sleeping, eating, general mischief.

That is what dogs do.

Boy time

Whilst the girls sip Chablis and eat parma ham, the boys play.

The little one is a bit keen.

What can you do?

I have a magnetic personality.

Attitude problems

A couple from Northumberland came to buy flowers see me.

I didn't get up and do my usual routine of stretching, tail wagging and pouncing on leaves.

She is worried about my bad attitude and has said we need to go on a team building weekend.

Trust games, canoeing and a lot of thinking outside of the box, and chanting of  "Modern flowers, Vintage passion"

Whatever.

Young at heart

I am mainly photographed lying about, but i can be a bit boisterous.

In particular with other dogs. Small yappie dogs owned by ladies with the Harrods hair do.

Occasionally on encountering such a dog, i play bow and growl really loudly.

She always apologises profusely, and tells them i am just a puppy, and still in training.

Then they ask how old i am, we got away with 9 months old the other day.

God bless botox.

Boy time

The trip to Disneyland was a ruse.

So this weekend i shunned the chance to appear in another national newspaper, and went off for some quality boy time.

Chillaxing.

I am not happy to be back.

Children go free

It is 19.30. We are still working, and apparently we will be through the night.

I have been promised a trip to Disneyland, because children go free.

but you don't get your own seat on the plane.

Image via the very wonderful all about Marilyn tumblr.

See you next week, when we return from our vacances.

It's a sign

Not one of those signs.

An actual sign.

Evidently it it is to be busy week, Mothers Day.

She doesn't have time this week to chat to everybody that stops us in the street to admire me.

Apparently this will save her a good 2 hours a day.

I  am putting myself up for adoption.

PR

The News of the World got hold of the video tapes.

Media whore Miss P. did a deal.

The tapes would be destroyed, in exchange for a few coy "at home" shots.

I feel used.